The last days with one
As we’ve been nearing the time for the birth of our second child, I often ponder what things will be like after the baby is here. Things will change drastically – in a good way – and we are so excited. At the same time, it’s a little bittersweet that our attention will be divided between Jenson and the baby – and probably unfairly for awhile, as babies require so much energy and attention. I can’t help but think how it’s going to be for Jenson to have to share us – I’m sure it will be confusing and sad for him at times, as he won’t quite understand how amazing it will be for him to have a sibling.
In the evenings and on the weekends when we are both home, hopefully it’ll be easier for him and he’ll be able to get the attention he wants from one of us, while the other tends to the baby. But during the day when he’s used to it being just the two of us…that’s going to be the hard part. Since April, he’s had my nearly undivided attention during the day. I don’t plop him in front of the TV so I can get things done (except on some occasions when I was sick and struggling with the pregnancy – and in those cases, I was laying beside him anyway). I don’t get a lot of cooking or cleaning done, or time on the computer outside of naptime…it’s typically just the two of us playing and reading, or going to the library or running errands. Sure, he can entertain himself for periods at a time, and does quite well with that sometimes – but there’s still almost no “free” time as a stay at home mom.
“Mommy go play” “Mommy read it” “Mommy sit on the floor” “Mommy play cars” Those requests are typically fulfilled within minutes. That’s not always going to be the case anymore. I’m not going to always be able to sit on the floor to play or read stacks and stacks of books with him in my lap. I’m not going to have the luxury of laying down with him to get him to nap, or rocking him for 4 songs before nap, or holding him for an hour on the couch after he wakes up poorly from a nap so he can snuggle up against me and fall asleep.
There’s been a lot of that this month…him snuggled up against me after nap. I don’t know if he senses that things are going to be changing, or if he just loves my belly as a pillow, but more days than not after nap, he wants to cuddle on the couch. It’s often not comfortable for me to have him laying against my stomach anymore, especially when I’m having a bad day with heartburn, but I don’t dare move him away from me so I can be more comfortable. I just hold him and enjoy the cuddles, knowing that sometimes I’ll be too busy with the baby for these cuddles, and he’s also going to grow up and not want to snuggle up against me like that.
I’m so grateful I had these months since April at home with him as an only child and was able to give him so much undivided attention. Even though the changes that he’ll experience after the baby is born may be hard for him, I know that he’ll find that there’s enough love to go around and that having a sibling to play with will be even better than playing with mommy and having my undivided attention. But I’m glad I got to cherish these snuggly times when it was just the two of us.